because i'm so generic

because i'm so generic and i have no mind of my own (and am quite forgettable), i thought i'd be super unoriginal and post MORE snow pictures as if none of you (all 3 of my readers) haven't already SEEN pictures of that blizzard... or snow..EVER...


i tried to get her to stand next to the door (next to the snow), but she wasn't having it... :)



front


back

my fucking freckles

i HATE them. HATE them. H-A-T-E them. they are the reason i never went the bodyboarder route with stacy & lani, but the "i'll-sit-on-the-sand-and-wait-for-you-guys-under-my-UMBRELLA-and-TOWEL-that-COVERS-my-fucking-FRECKLED-face" route. FUN, huh. i hated going to beach -- not because i thought i was a whale -- but because i didn't want anyone to see them in the bright-always-shining-hawaii sun. they are also probably the reason i moved OUT of hawaii -- because i knew that they could only get DARKER by staying there in the 365 days a year FULL ON sun (although, i'm glad i did, because i could never do what i'm doing now). they were the reason i got teased so much in intermediate and the 5th & 6th grades. i didn't ask for them. i didn't ask for them to appear suddenly in the 3rd grade. wtf??!! i fucking HATE them. after i moved here, they faded a little (and so did my skin color) and i wasn't so self-concious about them anymore.

UNTIL TONIGHT -- i went to my #2 favorite store (#1 being otto tootsi plohound), apple, and some stupid apple fuck said to me (FIRST WORDS OUT OF HIS MOUTH AFTER HIS "yes" ANSWER TO ME), "how'd you get freckles on only half of your face?" gee thanks, asshole! that's the one mention that can make me bawl in a split second. my ENTIRE life, i've suffered severe self-esteem issues. i would NEVER get too close (physically) to people because i never wanted anyone to notice them. although, i'm sure you could notice them a mile and a half away, but still... it just made me feel better just to think that no one could see them from 2 feet away. i am bawling as i write this now, that's how much they affect me. i can't even believe i am revealing that i have a half diseased face, but i figure only a handful of people read this thing and those people know about my cancer face.

of course that apple fuck trys to cover it up by saying, "no, where are you going? come back! they're so cute!" CUTE? FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. THEY ARE NOT CUTE. THEY ARE THE BAIN OF MY EXISTENCE. THEY'RE FUCKING FUCK SHIT FUCK. that's what i wanted to say, but if i dare stayed for a second, he would've seen me bawl in front of a bunch of apple-loving strangers & heard me talk in that hyper-ventilating-crying-so-hard voice.

so thanks to mr. apple fuck, i am no longer going to spend my freelance money on the new g5 intel imac, instead i'm going to put it towards my life dream of removing my fucking disease off of my cursed face. i'm sure it's going to cost me a buttload, but he's not the first to mention them, nor will he be the last. and until i get them removed, this anger i have about them will never go away.

so.....i guess i'll be in debt a little longer than planned. oh well, at least no one can make me bawl in a millisecond once those fuckers are gone.