fuck it!

why does work always take precedence over life? i'm definitely doing something wrong here, for me to stop living my life for work. obviously it's been awhile -- a LONG while since i've posted anything and i doubt ANYONE looks at my blog anymore, but i don't care. i am doing this for me.

fuck it. i am fucking over it. time to start paying attention to me. and so i'm back. how "back", i am not sure yet as i can't promise i'll actually blog regularly, but this is a start.

my return post....hmm.......it has to be something really good. oh! i know! okay. so my mom is so completely adorable and sends me care packages every now and then. they're usually filled with some of my favorite snacks -- favorite as in favorite 15 years ago -- my taste buds have since changed, but i don't have the heart to tell her, so i gushingly thank her instead. well, in one of my care packages about 3 years ago (i can't believe i haven't blogged about this one until now!), was a lip balm by avon. i rolled my eyes at the sight of it when i received it, because of COURSE she's an avon shopper. typical. well, to my surprise, this lip balm only happened to be the best lip balm EVER!!!!!! i swear to you -- this is a MUST try. i loved it so much that when my 2 tubes ran out, i went and bought 30 of them online. they were my little tag-on's to every gift i gave for every occasion (but i kept 10 for myself). and EVERY person that received it raved about how much they loved it as well. and every single one of them would later tell me that they were incredibly sad that their tube ran out! but, the good friend i am, i dig into my stash and graciously hand over another perfect white tube to my desperate-for-avon-lip-balm friends every time. :)

the best part is, they're only $.99!!!! YES, NINETY NINE CENTS!!! i know, right?! see, so what's a dollar (plus S&H) just to try it? TRY IT. you'll spend more on buying yourself some lunch or starbucks. plus, it'll save you money in the long run because you won't be buying all that ridiculously overpriced shit that really sucks in comparison.

AVON BASICS care deeply with aloe lip balm

my rating: :) :) :) :) :)

best self-confidence builder EVER!

this post is for females only. sheila kelley's s factor aerobic striptease workout and pole dancing classes for any woman is the BEST self-confidence builder EVER!

aging, as we all know, is not a fun process on the body (on the mind - FABULOUS). i *hate* the gym and everything about it, but knew that i HAD to do something before my body goes hot-air-balloon and i'm a mammoth whale offending everyone i pass. so feeling rather uncomfortable in my own skin, cute-but-not-sexy, and feeling "the aging process", i googled what i thought would be the perfect solution for all 3 issues aforementioned.

after perusing all the results, to my surprise, i found this studio that seemed rather legitimate and classy (and expensive). it was $40 for an intro class and i figured -- why not try it out. it can't hurt, right?

well, one "try out", a pole, 6" stripper shoes and 4 class sessions later, I'M TOTALLY FUCKING ADDICTED!!! i no longer have body issues - in fact, my body is transforming in such a way that i never imagined! i'm using muscles that i didn't know existed. i have a newfound respect for strippers - it's not easy to do what they do! those bitches are fucking strong! i now "work out" and don't even realize it because i'm having so much fun doing it! i can do all these crazy things on a pole -- and i'm very proud, might i add.

sfactor changed my life -- not just my body and what i "can do", but also in my mind. i gained so much self-confidence and you can't put a price tag on that. period.

i got 5 people to sign up for s factor so far and i hope to get more on the bandwagon. my words aren't enough -- you have to experience it for yourself. i only hope that you at least try out an intro class.

and....GISELE (yes the HOT victoria's secret model) was in my class THREE times!!!! and yes, this is the same place that the following celebrities have been spotted: lindsay lohan, kate hudson and teri hatcher (i'm sure there's more that i don't know about/forgot).

my obvious rating: :) :) :) :) :)

info:
sheila kelley's s factor aerobic striptease workout and pole dancing classes for any woman
intro class (about an hour and a half): $40
sessions: $480 (8 weeks per session/once a week/two hours a class)
breakdown of classes: about an hour of floor exercises (yoga/pilates-ish) and the other hour for pole tricks and stripdancing (yes, you learn a routine, as well as lap dances)
atmosphere: NO mirrors in studios, extremely DARK lighting - so you never have to feel embarrassed in front of strangers
**if there isn't a studio in your location, you can buy the dvds online, as well as a pole. and don't tell anyone, but i got my pole (the same brand) cheaper on ebay!). :)

the rest -- you'll just have to find out for yourself!!! :)

best toothbrush EVER!

the oral-b braun electric toothbrush is the best EVER!

i used to work at britesmile when i was "working on my business" and thought pushing electric toothbrushes was all bullshit...and just plain ol' MEAN (to push shit on people). but while visiting my sister in sf, we stopped at costco (LOVE costco, btw!!) and found that same toothbrush that britesmile was selling for $100 at $90 for 2! so my persuasive charm convinced my mom (parents were also visiting her at the same time) to buy the damn thing for the two of us. :) hee.

H-O-L-Y SHIT! i swear to god. that night when i used the fricken thing, i kinda wanted to barf when i realized how much regular toothbrushes DON'T do! and it's not that i don't take care of my teeth -- i do. i may not floss regularly like i'm supposed to, but i NEVER not brush. not even if i'm really fucking tired.

getting one of these is by far a wise investment if you care anything about yourself. the $100 is well worth it. the replacement heads will run you $19.99 for a 3 pack. or you can get a 6 pack for $25 (or was it $35..?? can't remember) from costco (and obviously if you own a costco card, i would just get the toothbrush(es) from there).

it doesn't matter what model you get, just as long as it has a small head like the one i have pictured. i personally think the oral-b is better than sonicare because of the head size. it allows you to reach your molars with ease. but if you don't believe me, get the sonicare. it's better to just have an electric toothbrush than not. but if i were you, i'd trust me and get the oral-b. :)

and btw -- there are no "i'm too lazy" excuses or whatever bullshit you want to throw at me. because truth is, you don't do any work! the fabulous oral-b braun does all of it! and be sure to brush for 2 minutes. really. don't try to blame me that "it didn't work" because YOU think 15 seconds is enough to brush your nasty-funkola-ass mouth. :)

my obvious rating: :) :) :) :) :)

i'm not sure how much longer it'll be on sale at target:
oral-b braun at target.com

which one do i want?

just in case you need some persuasion that you really *should* mark my words and get everything i blog about:

email titled: world's best world's best finder EVER!!! (thanks, joe!!!)

ok, you just completely rock. that's all i have to say about you. you bring the rock. i wish we hung out more because you are just too cool. my roomates were saying today as they scrubbed the non-poop smelling toilet with a mr. clean magic eraser, 'how does jackie FIND all this stuff?'

but beyond that, you are so fucking funny. you need a show. and you need to blog more. i'll be reading! i'll miss you!

sorry, i know posting some of that was probably unnecessary, but i've been feeling a bit down lately and need the boost. :)

best poop deodorizer EVER!

screw the lysol spray shit, matches and/or candles! the kobayashi toilet deodorizer drops RULE!

your poop smells like a forest when you drop a drop of this ingenious japanese shit. my mom heard about this through my aunt, who heard about this through her friend, etc. i have NO idea what it says on the bottle, but all you need to know is that this stuff works. just drop a few drops before you drop a bomb and voila! smells like forest...



here's a picture of what it looks like in the packaging, so you know what to shop for. you can get it in japanese supermarkets and i suppose searching on the internet might do the trick. my mom gets it in hawaii (daiei, marukai) on sale for $3/regular price $4. i've only seen it for $6 or $7 here in new york. whatever the cost, it is definitely worth it. especially for the shy woman who doesn't want her boyfriend to know that she takes dumps just like him.

it's english name seems to be 'kobayashi powerful one drop'. i'm sure it's the same as the all-in-japanese bottle, but i'm a big fan of getting the original shit. so find yourself a japanese supermarket and go get one.

my rating= :) :) :) :) :)

best popcorn EVER!!!

my all-time favorite popcorn "award" goes to dale and thomas popcorn!

i first became obsessed with their popcorn when they used to be popcorn indiana (i believe the name change was due to some legal battle with the actual city, popcorn, indiana, over trademarking..?? i don't know. a store employee told me the gist a LONG time ago.) ANYWAY, i would get at least a bag or two a week. until i decided to start my own business (that i am currently not working on) and finally quit my job that was a dead end for me. i had to give up a lot of things and learn how to live like a poor person. no more $5 bags of popcorn for me. it was really, really tough. because when i say their popcorn is DAMN-FUCKING-GOOD, i mean it's DAMN-FUCKING-GOOD. so good that EVERY time someone visits me, they take dale and thomas popcorn back with them for family and friends.

they have a ton of different flavors/concoctions and make the popcorn fresh daily (watching that tumbler thing is pretty mesmerizing). they have plain ol' popcorn to peanut butter & white chocolate drizzle (!!!). cheese used to be my favorite until my i'm-fucking-getting-older tastebuds decided to go kaput on me. so now my fave is their plain -- not even salted plain -- just p-l-a-i-n.

when i used to live close to one, my routine pre-movie was to grab a couple of [formerly known as pocorn indiana] bags and stop at a deli for some [non-movie expensive] cokes. bliss.

a bag will run you anywhere from $3 - $7.50 (depending on size and flavor). it may sound expensive for popcorn, but it's no more expensive than the rape-you-of-your-money movie theaters crap. and a thousand times more worth it. because it doesn't taste like ass.

dale and thomas popcorn
my rating: :) :) :) :) :)
my dog's rating: :) :) :) :) :) (you know how you sometimes *miss* your mouth while noshing & watching tv?? well, i found out she LOVES it when i do that)

best tanning oil and after sun care EVER!

the banana boat tanning oil with spf 15 is by far the best shit to get dark with EVER! i was never *dark*, but i was never as white as my white ass is now. but thanks to my new roomies sharing their knowledge of how to get dark asap, people may actually believe me when i tell them i'm hawaiian!!! or...my friends back in hawaii won't be able to tease me about how WHITE i am. :)

you should definitely reapply, as the spf factor is only 15 (my mom would DIE if she knew i was using this). and besides, reapplying helps you tan faster, anyway. you definitely feel like a total grease ball by the time you get home, but that's what the shower's for.


and, for after care (thanks kim, for introducing me to this), i highly recommend the banana boat aloe after sun lotion. i am not sunburnt at ALL and i went to the beach 2 days in a row. no hurtage = good. :)

my only complaint is that it kinda just sits on you like an extra layer of skin....and i hate that feeling under the covers, but that won't stop me from using it.






banana boat tanning oil with spf 15 rating: :) :) :) :) :)

banana boat aloe after sun lotion rating: :) :) :) :) :

best bikini wax EVER!

i just got the best bikini wax EVER at magnolia beauty spa in williamsburg.

it lasted a measly...i want to say.....3 minutes! magda (waxing genius) is wonderfully brilliant in her technique and FAST! and it was pretty painless! not pain free, just not so-o bad. best $20 i've spent in a long time. although i'm moving away from this area, i WILL be going back there regularly to get waxed. :)

i also got a massage and a milk & honey body wrap and was in total bliss today. :) oh! and my first mani/pedi in my entire life!! :) that was fun. hopefully getting the nails done will help me stop my horrible nail peeling habit..

magnolia beauty spa
124 bedford avenue (xstreet north 10th)
brooklyn, ny 11211
718.599.5780
m-f: 10am-8pm
sat: 9am-6pm
closed sundays
L train to bedford (just 3 blocks from the stop)

the spa is really tiny and you couldn't get massages with your friends at the same time, but with their prices, who cares! you can get pampered like you've always dreamed of without sacrificing lunch for a week. :)

i highly recommend checking them out!

my rating: :) :) :) :) :