scariest day of my LIFE

and that is today.

meeting with the ex boss-slash-teacher-slash-everything tonight. SCARE-EEEEEEEEEE. gosh. i don't know if i'll be able to do it. i might turn around when i get to the door. i don't really want to hear what he has to say, i'd much rather just put that behind me but i suppose i can't go back home without knowing the full reason. but what if i come out of there feeling WORSE??!!! and then i get set back in this wicked-nasty state of mine AGAIN?!! i'm sorta coming out of it and i don't want to go back in...

!!!!!!! panic. scream. yelp. fear. scared shitless. pee in my pants. i want to die. just beat me with a stick now.