how to get fired 101

a few easy hints on how to get your ass fired:

1) reading blogs at work (SO STOP NOW)

2) writing blogs at work

3) writing blogs about your co-workers at work

4) writing emails at work

5) writing emails about your co-workers at work

6) writing emails at work

7) writing emails at work

8) writing emails at work

9) writing emails at work

10) have a side business that is TOTALLY related and in the EXACT same field as your job

11) write emails at work about said business

12) answer the cell phone at work

13) not care about work

14) think: this is just a job, not my life like it is to alllllllll these other people

i have NOT done all of the aforementioned but the ones that i have done [to get my ass fired] are: 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13 & 14

#'s 10 & 11 -- i did an AWESOME job at keeping both at bay

now, this is soooo true. and while you are freaking out for me (if you're one of my friends that are reading this), NOT to worry, i am actually laughing at myself that i could be such a dumbass and am quite happy that it's because of emailing and not because i was unable to perform the job.

and honestly, as so many have already said, one being my advisor in LIFE (mindi), i would've had to choose between x and my biz and i think i ultimately would've chosen x and down the road would've regretted it and now have to make my biz MY biz and make that first press proud to have me in their fucking magazine. so i will go back to being pro-active about biz & do my freelance gig & design for that previous summer agreement...

and besides, x could've sued me, as they have the money AND the power to do so. why would they sue me you ask? because there is no way in hell that my biz could've been kept a secret for too long.

so it's still a fabulous 2005, don't you worry, as i'm just realizing that that's obviously not the path that i was supposed to take (did you know you could say 'that' 3 x in one sentence?? -- or now 4). veered off the road for a little bit, but jumping right back on. and getting back to what i've always desired for myself -- to own my own flourishing business.