birth control study

well... the title says it all... this is a pill that has yet to be fda approved.

yes, i am that stupid. it's called i didn't have insurance at the time (and i will again be insurance-less in a few weeks), sure as hell don't want kids (at least not yet), and it was a paid study.

now let me just tell you that since going on this study, i have gained a good 10 pounds (fuckers!) and wait 'til you hear this one... get ready to laugh because it would only happen to ME. really. i hope you're somewhere where no one can hear you. no quiet places or you'll have to come back and read this later.

I WAS FUCKING LACTATING!!!!!

oh and then the doctor tells me, "wow, we've never heard of that one. that's never happened to anyone before."

well of course not, that's because you've never had ME doing this study until now. all the fucked up things always happen to me and only me. yes, i am THAT .00000000000000001 percentile that has freakola bizzare shit happen to them. enter me into the (or any) equation and there you have it: me + ANYthing = retarded fucked up-ness.

well, obviously i am not doing the study anymore. in fact, i stopped shortly after i was lactating but was too afraid to tell them that i stopped so i didn't let them know until awhile after.... (even though i'm the one that's the victim here)

so today was my last appointment and i got my check -- not as much as originally stated since i'm about 13 months shy of how long i'm supposed to be on it, but the amount on the check... if only i were rich enough to rip it up....

IT WAS MY EXACT WEIGHT BEFORE STARTING THIS STUDY.

could ya rub it in ANY more. gee thanks. shitfucks. hate you too. thanks for NOTHING!