why you would want me on your team

why? i'll tell you why:

because i'm loyal.

nicole: 24 years (or 23 if you go by nicole, but i swear we've known each other since we were 2)
stacy: 19 years
brad: 12 years
f.i.t.: 8 years

and i'm only loyal if i deem you worthy enough -- i don't just invest myself into anyone (or anything) here.. you have to be somewhat special.

because i'm dedicated.

although the heartburn kept coming on every single time i went to my famed l & l, i kept going back and it took 5 times for the heartburn to stop.

rockefeller u: every time i wanted to leave, i just switched departments (within the same office) -- 3 times. that's dedication man.... seriously.

because i'm so totally fucking HONEST.

i'll be the person that you wished you never asked that question because i'm the one that'll give you the answer that you didn't wanna hear. but you end up being thankful that at least someone's telling you the truth.

because i'm self-sufficient.

i will go to great lengths to get whatever i want. if i can't get it, i will find ways of getting it.

because i can hem your pants.

but don't try asking me to (i'm just speaking theoretically here), you'll never get them done. as much as i could do all those things for you, i don't even do them for MYself! you're better off taking them to the tailors.

because you will probably not spend a lot of money with me.

i'll tell you that i can make that for you, so you don't buy it. but guess what, you'll never get it from me (and if you do, it's MUCH, MUCH later). so hey! i still saved you money because you ended up not spending money on that piece of shit!

AND i'm the cheapest fucking date/go-out-with person EVER! i sometimes drink and am so simple. i find fun in everything.

because you'll probably get better abs from hanging out with me.

as i'll make you laugh so hard. so hard that faye was pissed she became sober from laughing too much. so hard that you'll probably trip (several times) like mindi does. so hard that you'll cry (or rather, i'll cry).

and if you don't, well that just means that i'll probably drop you from my friends list (getting too old to keep bleh people around). or you will because it just simply means that either a) we don't have any chemistry, b) you're boring, or c) we just don't connect on the same level (though it's usually b).

because when i love, i love with my all.

and when i love you, you know it. i SPOIL people that i love (and i'm not just talking romantic love here), making you feel oh-so-SUPER-special. and you must be for me to love you.

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UPDATE: mindi is NOT an idiot. she seems to think that i somehow make her out to sound like an idiot in my blogs. she is actually *quite* INTELLIGENT. she is by far one of THE most smartest cookies i know. and she's splendidly fabulous as well. :) in fact, thanks to her, i'm finally reading again (not sure why i stopped. oh wait, i know but i really don't want to say before i make this person sound like the devil). she definitely brings out the best in me and NO, tommy, sorry, your fantasies will NEVER come true.