oh poor devil incarnate

fucking bitch.

bitch bitch bitch.

so the devil incarnate was finishing up her vacay in hawaii just as i was starting mine -- an overlap of 2 days, which is why i stayed with nicole in the beginning. her friend (that she's living with) stayed at my parent's house. well, my nice & normal sister will be going to hawaii in june with her friend but my mom insisted that he get a hotel. so i say to her:

me: why not? you let jen's friend stay with you guys...

mom: well, that's different. her friend is such a nice person (yeah, and apparently my sister's friend is not), he's letting her stay with him RENT FREE.

me thoughts in head: what the fuck! and WHY can't she get her own fucking apartment after NOT PAYING ANY RENT FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS PLUS $20K IN THE BANK????!!! FUCK IF I KNOW!!!! FUCKER!

but i actually say: oh.

same shit, different story:

me: so did [devil incarnate/satan/bitch/cunt/5-year old] find a place yet?

mom: no. her friend steve has a loft and he sleeps upstairs and she sleeps downstairs in his living room. [MUCH EMPATHY ON] what choice does she have?

me wishing i could/would say the following: it's called she's THIRTY FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD -- ABOUT TO BE 36??!!! i don't know?? maybe she should GROW THE FUCK UP AND YOU SHOULD STOP BABYING HER SO SHE CAN GROW UP?????!!! HMMMMMM???? YA THINK???? OH! let's compare! fun game. super awesome 35-year old cousin OWNS her own condo, has a VERY good job, and has FRIENDS. super awesome 35-year old that i got my apartment from is fucking BRILLIANT, has an incredibly intelligent daughter, is making an EXCELLENT living in hawaii (this is not as easily achievable as you would think), and is just an amazing person.

but i actually say: oh.

and why i can't ever say what i really want to say is beyond me (this isn't the first OR last time). this is why i think i need to enroll my so-not-shy-99%-of-the-time ass in some sorta speechie/public speaking class.... bleh. nah. no like. no need. i doing just fine. :)