the cutest man EVER

my dad is quite possibly the cutest EVER! he still opens (& closes) the car door for my mom (and no, she's not a pathetic, stupid the-man-has-to-do-everything woman that can't do anything herself, she would just as quickly open the door herself but my dad beats her to it). SOOO cute. and he still buys flowers for my mom too. she told us about this past valentine's day when there was a rush of people buying flowers & he just had to get some so he got whatever he could and it ended up being this humongous, overpriced flower basket. in fact, he always buys her flowers, but this one was quite a monstrosity, which is why she brought it up.

and all he asks about is if my apartment needs more electrical wiring. of course, he's already done most of it but heck, i'll make something up to get him to come & visit (he hates ny & will only come if it involves him doing what he'll never stop doing until the day he dies). so i did just that. "um... my desk needs some light so i don't use the track lighting & oh! the showroom needs track lighting & i think there's more but i can't remember" (because i have to go home & make it up).

even though he zombies out on the tv (literally) for HOURS, he is still the cutest man EVER. i'm such a bad daughter though, i just found out how old my parents actually are. oops. oh well. now i know... :)

if i were to list all the cute things my dad does, this blog would go on forever so i'll just stop.

the grizzlee bear

sleep: the natural, regularly recurring rest for the body, during which there is little or no concious thought

oh... really? wow. sounds nice. how on earth do i achieve THAT when the grizzlee bear is present in the room?????? OMG! i swear he was blowing bubbles or something the other night... or maybe he dreams via snoring or something....... ??

so i tell him this morning that he needs to go to the doctor for his snoring (and my mom at the same time says that she tells him that all the time) and he responds, "you guys were all sleeping when i was up."

"well yeah, dad, that's because you were UP & NOT snoring! so we were actually able to GET some sleep!"

steak n' potatoes

me: this is the first time i'm having steak since high school

[enter: mom's rolling eyeballs look]
mom: yeah... do you know how hard it is to cook for a vegetarian?

[dad & sis talking at the same time]
dad: ugh. yeah. so junk.

sis: oh yeah.. i forgot you were a vegetarian

me: [defending myself] well, i still ate seafood!!

they all glance at me with the look of death.. yikes....

well thank goodness i'm a cold-hearted meat eater again (wtf was i thinking????!!!! stupid 'faces of death')... besides, i have to make up for all those animals that died for me (all rolled up in my closet & on all of my bags)... just trying to pick up the slack, that's all...

sisterly love

why can't my sister trade places with the sister (otherwise known as satan -- and fyi -- my friends back in high school gave her that name)??!!! i'm visiting my sister right now & it's like... oh, so this is what it's like to have an older sister... i see... that's what i thought... interesting.... why can't they just swap... then it'd be sooo fabulous... have my sister & my cousin all in one place.

i mean, listen to this -- so the sister calls my mom yesterday (and as retold by my mom), she said, "mom! what kind of christmas present is this?!!!" you know, even if you don't like the present, you just say, "thanks." and she's not even LIVING in the same state so she can surely fake it -- at least my mom didn't have to see that nasty expression on her face when she opened it... how ungrateful. and how am i related to it? that, i'm not sure...

as my sister says.... "she's adopted, there's no way she's related to us." and i swear i DIDN'T say that -- my sister did. so obviously my descriptions, stories, etc. of the sister are of no exaggerations....

merry christmas!

ready for another story that involves THE sister? so -- i went to get my hair done (styled or whatever??) by THE sister a couple of weeks ago and here goes:

[enter: competitive eyeballs perusing every inch of me (i get this EVERY time) and fingers YANKING through my hair, as my head BOBS up & down. OH! and let's not forget the annoying high-pitched, whiny ass voice]

satan: see, your hair is growing in nicely, my cut wasn't so bad

me thinking: you BITCH! so obviously you KNEW that you gave me a bad haircut, you [insert: every swear word known to man]!!! steam wanting to blow, me wanting to choke her, me wanting to do anything to her and i respond with the following with a fricken smile...

angel: yeeaahhhh......

and i don't have the heart to be a bitch and tell her that i had to GO to someone ELSE to get it fixed! ..... so i just ... let... her think.... that she .... yeah... i know... STUPID! oh well....

hallelujah! the ceiling's fixed!!!

WHEN IT WAS JUST RAIN(ING) IN MY APARTMENT



SURGERY



THE GUTS
(you should've seen the black water gushing out as he was ripping the flesh!!!)



FEELING MUCH BETTER

THE sister dunnit

and this is what happens when the sister comes around. i promise i had nothing to do with this, i think it's sick, wrong, twisted, & it's abuse but...


...they look... so-oooooo happy... don't they.........

about the sis: she's 9 years older but acts 15 years younger.... she is probably the one person (maybe the only) that can put me in an ill mood in about a second and a half.

let me just tell you A story (there are sooo many):

(i am presently the brokest bitch EVER)

this story takes place over a couple days of telephone conversations:

[enter: SUPER annoying voice -- think of the most annoying voice and times that by 10]

satan: so what do you want to get dad?

[enter: voice that everyone i know laughs at the second they hear it, because they immediately know that it's her on the other end]

angel: i don't know, i'm infamously late anyway so i'm not really worried about it and i'm so poor right now that i'll just get him something later

satan: well, we have to get him something

angel: you can get him whatever you want, don't worry about me

(she called me the next day & pretty much repeated the same EXACT conversation, as she doesn't listen at ALL, even when she's the one asking)

[next conversation]

satan: so i called mom and she said to just give dad $20, so do you want to do $10 and $10?

angel: [APPALLED face] eew! NO! GET HIM WHATEVER YOU WANT. don't worry about me!

satan: well, you know, i was just thinking about *you* and i'm trying to make it easier for *you* (total bullshit -- she's just the cheapest BASTARD in the ENTIRE universe & is totally trying to USE me as an excuse to make it okay to be a cheap bastard to her own father...).

let me just tell you something -- girl (i say girl because she is far from a grown woman) was living with her boyfriend (now ex) for .... maybe 3 years and never paid a penny in rent, just the ooh-big-deal conEd bill (she canceled the cable & internet the second she moved in since her only responsibility was paying the fucking utitlity bills)... WELL, she pretty much told me 3 days prior to this conversation that she had $20K saved up... but riiiiiiiggghghghghght.... you can only spend $10 on your dad.... can we say B-I-T-C-H......????

angel: JEN -- just because i'm poor, it doesn't mean that you can't get him something nice.

oh.. shocker... i ended up yelling at her... AGAIN... i never not yell at her, i think... and to think i was actually considering the thought of letting her move in with me -- but that's a whole 'nother story. oh the stories i could tell. i could blog about her for the rest of my life (and still be blogging about her dead in my grave).....

prom!!!!

so, as inspired by my friend, marissa, i have posted my prom pix!

marissa's:

'98 prom


yes, i AM flashing a gang sign!!!
(i got that a lot, if you were wondering why i would say that)
(okay -- the story is, the photographer was taking FOREVER to take the friggin' picture, so i was doing that impatient-finger-dance thing... i know you know what i'm talking about. i don't know how else to describe it)


the FUNNEST prom EVER!

backing up & falling down

hey! that sounds like an accurate description of how i "dance"!!!! :) ha ha. nah, i'm not that off. i got rythym yo... no seriously, i do. :) although it's hard for me to "dance" all serious & shit. i more try to make people crack up (i've actually made someone lose their drunkerdness from laughing too hard. although, she wasn't too happy that i made her sober......). anyway, i like to "dance" at bowling alleys (only the cosmic bowl ones), at the foosball table when i'm WINNING (or losing, but the dances are more fun when i'm winning), & to ghetto FANTAB-U-LOUS music... or just because..

ANYWAY. so backing up -- well, that's what the hell i'm trying & been trying to do before i take off..... my fricken compooter wants me to kill myself so i'm doing just that for it because i love my mac *oh* so much. lucky bastard -- otherwise, i'd kick him to the curb already... the buggah* needs to be re-installed.. crapper... oh well. oh and what's funny is that i'm backing up all my music before any (of my all illegal) programs!!! hello...... interesting....

and falling down... well, THE FRICKEN CEILING FELL DOWN TODAY!!! *itch! right on top of my ancient older-than-anybody-living-today sewing machine. i came home thinking the dog did something bad. oops... well, i'm sooo making them pay for a fixing. it needed one before that happened anyway, so at least i can *blame* them now. :) heh heh. okay, and no, not the ENTIRE ceiling, but a good portion of it. it was raining (okay, really dripping) in here last night. yeah -- FUN times. the dingaling landlord needs to call me back, that fricker. better call me soon....

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*buggah: This could be a guy, girl, or thing. Connotation could be a friend or pest, depending on the tone of voice and how the word is being used.

blah blablah blah blablah blah

!!! i meant to ask the hr girl today if i get bennies during probation (i highly doubt it but i should've at least asked). anyhow, why the HELL did i wait soooo long to finally do all my appointments that i am now cramming in at the very last minute??? i mean, how stupid is that???? i had alllll this time to take care of all that shit. the funniest one is the filling that popped out when i flossed back in the day. like '97, yo (nah, just joking). but for real -- that fricken thing popped out um. i don't even want to admit when because there's absolutely no reason for me to have not gotten it fixed by now. let's just say... earlier this year........ anyway -- and now i'm the one pressuring people to let me come in this week. my fault... oh well.

okay -- can i just tell you the story, because i think it's funny. you may not but... so about a month or two after my insurance ran out, i was flossing and heard this *ting* noise... hoping it wasn't what i thought it was, i looked down & lo and behold... hi! hello! stupid thing was looking right at me laughing as it decided to pop the frick out of my mouth after being in there for probably about 10 years.... of course, it couldn't pop out say... you know, like 2 months before, or even years ago... just HAD to be *right* when i was shit out of luck of insurance... bastard... i should've kept it and framed it and named it cunthead....

so. um. yikes. my l&l record -- well..... SEVEN times so far! eek! twice this past weekend. well, at least i'm not getting heartburn anymore. my mom said, "stop eating at l&l, you'll get fat -- it's worse than fast food!" huh? what? i didn't get that. can you repeat that? whaaaa? sorry, i think there's a (pidgin) language barrier here. not understanding. no can do. what's worse is that my *new* (yay!) job is sorta nearby the new location that will be opening soon! crapola. so maybe i will be a fat porker....

did i mention that i'll be only the second female to be an engineer!!!! :) heh heh.

carbon monoxide

(note: i am not actually talking to myself in any of this, these are just the thoughts that were running in my head)

[sleeping cozily in bed]

BEEP!

me propping head up wondering what that is...

go back to sleep

about 20 minutes later

BEEP!

what the fuck is that?

go back to sleep

another 20 minutes later

BEEP!

FUCK!

go down my ladder... walk over to that stupid required carbon monoxide alarm.

looks fine to me. oh, not plugged in. i'll plug it in.

ANOTHER 20 minutes later

BEEP!

FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK! the one time i REALLY want to sleep! bastard!!!!

walk down again, look at the stupid thing & it's flashing "Lb" (meaning low battery)

wtf. the stupid thing is plugged in. who gives a shit about the battery.

now 10 minutes later

(double) BEEP!

what the shit!

go back down... pick the stupid thing up... rip the battery out & leave it unplugged (and *wished* i could go back to sleep).

sleep at this point was NOT happening so i played on the computer & read for a bit and then...

went... back... to... sleep....

p.s. i got the job! :) i wonder how many new "best friends" i'll pick up.... can't wait to see... it'll be verrry interesting... although, i won't ever buy anything because this company is so not my style, so i guess it would be good that somebody would make use of my discount... ??

colllllddddddd........

how the hell are you supposed to look cute for an interview when it's friggin 2 degrees outside??!!! (okay, it's really 22, but still...) and cute, yes i know, you're not supposed to be "cute" for an interview, but you know what i mean... i can't be looking like an eskimo.

you know it's cold when you walk your dog and when she barks you see that ... what do you call it... that puff of hot meets cold... is there an official term for it? i must've looked retarded when i smirked/giggled to myself when i saw that (not that i care)...

oh well. here goes. i'll just freeze. i guess. at least i'm not nervous anymore. maybe i'll bring up the weather in the interview(s). ever notice how whenever you're in elevators, the weather is always the topic of conversation? at least that's how my experiences have been -- 9 out of 10, i would say (i'm sure i'm sometimes the culprit of it -- just to break the awkward you're-my-neighbor-and-i-should-acknowledge-that-but-i-still-don't-know-anything-about-you moment(s).

Ufatalofa? ...???

UFA: 'fuck you' in samoan
TALOFA: 'hello' in samoan

No, I'm NOT samoan.

A Mother's Love

so apparently getting one of my most prized projects into a magazine is not good enough for my mother... it took me all of 3 months, a shit load of cursing, (mental) anguish, and tons of $$$$ to make. my hands had perma-cramps as if i had arthritis at times and lord knows how much toxic glue i inhaled.... well, out of no efforts of my own, this fabulous project landed itself a spot in a photo shoot. i'm beyond ecstatic... i mean, wow (!) -- my hard work is actually getting some recognition and that's pretty damn rewarding to me. yes, 3 months may not sound long to be "working on a project," but you have no idea what went into this.

so i tell my mom the wonderful news and i guess she's happy. i don't know. but then a few days later i tell her more exciting news. i've been talked about, recommended & vouched for to this company for a job. well, i tell my mom "so blah in not so many words said that if i want this job, it's mine and they would pay me around blah" and woah. lay off on the excitement... then, and ONLY then did she come gushing out with the words "we love you so much, i hope you know that and no matter what you do, we're always proud of you." OH... so NOW you're proud of me.... hmm... okay... so i guess getting into that magazine (without even trying to get IN any), someone wanting to rep me in japan (where i'd probably make more $ than here), blah wanting to help me (blah is a huge deal), or the plain and simple fact that every time i actually DO try to get into a store, my odds are usually 1-1 means absolutely nothing....

IF i get this job, of course i'd be thrilled beyond belief, as it would do nothing but improve my business (that would have to go under the radar during employment) in the long run and i would ultimately be unbeatable when my time is up. but why is it that sacrificing my soul to corporate america would make her happy? for the bennies? shit. i have bennies. and hey fyi mom -- the fashion industry is a sick, sick world. they eat people like me for breakfast. and they will. everyday. multiple times a day. maybe they'll chomp at my hair and fix what your other daughter did to me. ha ha.

i mean, what if i actually was a good businesswoman... you know, i have my lucky stars to thank that i have sooo many people that support and believe in me. everything that's happening for me, i have to say, is not because of me but because of everyone else's efforts. so just imagine if i actually applied myself... (yes, i know i should read those words back to myself.)

she never really did have all that much faith in me... why is ma's approval so longed for anyway? so annoying.

L & L Hawaiian Barbecue

so i just went to my favorite hawaiian take out restaurant again for the 4th time tonight. mind you, each time i get heartburn but i just don't seem to learn my lesson.... i can't help it. it's so worth every painful burning second to have hawaiian/hawaii food again. oh so good. :) plus it helps to cure homesickness.


me flashing a shaka* in front of heartburn attack restaurant

they just got their first write up today in amNewYork:

Aloha to Hawaii's L & L

and each time i have a blast because my pidgin comes out and i'm always with company that understands & speaks it (better than me -- when i do it, i still sound haole**). and then we get a kick out of why our grammar is so bad because all you have to do is take a look around the damn place & you immediately get it.... it's not that people from hawaii are stupid (okay, some are), it's just -- you grow up speaking one way your ENTIRE life and then you go out to the "mainland" and find out -- um. wow. i never learned that... or that.... or ... that.... hmmm.... yeah. or what? that's not a real word? that's pidgin? what? i spelt that wrong my entire life?! crap! no wonder i was spelling bee champ when i was little -- nobody knows how to spell anything! and i can't tell you how many times i've been teased (and i know i'm not alone in this) for saying butt-tin, oh sorry -- didn't know it's buh-in... ask ANYONE you meet that's from hawaii to say button. i dare you. and i BET you they'll say it just like that.

I grabbed this off a website:

Hawaiian Pidgin is spoken by many people who live in Hawaii, but mostly by teenagers. The majority of the words and phrases are versions of English slang, with words from the other languages that make up Pidgin, making it sound like un-grammatical English. An example of a shortened English phrases is no can (cannot), talk stink (speaking bad about someone), and wat doing? (what are you doing?). A Pidgin phrase that sounds like English with bad grammar is "If I come stay go, an you no stay come, wat foa I go?" ("If I come and you’re not there, why should I go?") (www.extreme-hawaii.com). (The pronunciation and accent used in Hawaiian Pidgin is hard to detect in the spelling and written words).

Here's some pidgin examples (although the extreme-hawaii one is pretty funny, i *highly* suggest you check it out):

Pidgin 101

the thing i love most about hawaii is also it's biggest flaw: ohana, otherwise known as: family, or just like family (as defined by the 'Pidgin to Da Max' book). by this, i mean that family & friends are sooooooo valued there that you NEVER do anything without any of them. everyone is ohana -- whether you're actually related or not. that's what i miss soooo much.. there's a closeness there that i just can't describe and i've never found that here. not that i don't love my friends here (and not that i have a lot here), but it's just... different... here, people want to be my friend because i can do something for them or because they know that someday i'll be of some "value" to them... such bull... of course, i do know better so i'm wary of people like that but they're everywhere here! in hawaii, people love you because they love you. you could be living in the gutter (theoretically speaking) and they'd still love you. and vice versa. and i'm not directing this at me -- that's how it is with anyone and everyone there.

then comes the reason why it's a flaw: NOBODY leaves hawaii. very few do. there's just too much attachment. don't get me wrong, i'm totally attached to all my hawaii peeps but hawaii can't do anything for me for what i want to do... and besides, i moved back for a year and wanted to shoot my eyes out... the excuses i hear are always "i'm too scared," "what if i don't like it," "what if it doesn't work out," "i don't want to leave my family and friends," "but it's so far away"... i keeeep telling people, you can ALWAYS move back -- hawaii & your entire family will always be there (and you know they'll send you care packages alllllllll the time -- even if you can get some of the stuff where you live)... expand your horizons, people... but then again, i go back to visit and i admire the fact that people are totally content just the way they are.

so.... i guess i just want more. what i really want is a balance and i could probably get that in california but i'm not quite ready to go there yet. still have some things to do.

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*shaka (shah-kah): a greeting as well as a colloquial stand-in for "hang loose," "stay cool," "take it easy" and so on, usually accompanied by wiggling a raised hand with only the thumb and pinkie extended.

**haole (howl-lee): White person, Caucasian; American, English; formerly, any foreigner.