AWEsome 90's

SERIOUS problem. my playlist is at 15:43:14, 220 songs (and i could soooooooooo cram in MORE!!!). FUCK. and i'm sooo NOT discriminating (with the exception of mariah carey & whitney houston) and i don't want to start, but i guess i'm forced to now. this is sooo HARD.

here's one of my MANY faves (that i HATED back then):

regulate

oh, the memories. good times. i won't *mention* what they are, as it's slightly embarassing what my friends & i did for *fun*...

and btw, '98 was a great fucking year for music (that's just what i'm noticing, is all).

tinnitus

so........mindi came over to do......."work".......... and um...you know....listened to SWEET 90's music while doing.....her......"work"...... :)

ANYWAY, so while tone-deafly belting out all the sweet 90's tunes together (and i doing streamer-decor duty), i said to her, "NOW do you understand why i got tinnitus for 3 days? isn't it SO much FUN?!!!!"

and she giggle-smiled (the kind of smile that says yes, i do, i hate to admit, because i'd rather just think that you're my retarded friend) and said, "yes, it's so much FUN!"

:)

she even made me put on my outfit, head-to-toe (minus the aquanet-sprayed-SOLID "wave," blue eyeshadow & red lipstick), and LAUGHED hysterically at me. :) hee hee. (OH, you just WAIT until you see what SHE'S wearing.........)

anyway, read her blog about our freaky-eeky, weird-eerdy (?) SUPER-connected mindses:

if you don't believe in miracles, read this

my dog's a model

i wonder what they went through to get her to do that...

she'll be on the "contact us" page for a store that's opening up this summer. maybe i'll make a portfolio for her so she can get some paying jobs and pay some rent!

crazy sexy cool

(oh you bet your ass TLC will be pumpin' via my fab-o *new* airtunes at prom -- as soon as i exchange my kaput airport card)

faye: everyone thinks we're crazy, you know.

me: why, because of our pidgin?

faye: NO, they just think we're weetahded when we're together. i only get that way with YOU.

me: WHATEVER! MY pidgin only comes out when i'm with YOU! (the following is spoken with my "tita" accent) they just jealous cuz they no can understand us (and neither can you, after that sentence). AND because we have SO-OOOOO much fun!

faye: even paul...he said i get retarded when i'm with you. but, he likes it because nobody can make me laugh and i always laugh when i'm with you. so it's good.

me: that's right bitch! ha!

13

take a wild guess what '13' means....and if you know me well enough to know that it's the simple things in life that give me extreme satisfaction/pleasure, you probably guessed right.

yes, the l&l record....

1st time at the register:

l&l girl: you're here everyday.

me: no, i'm not (in my high-pitched embarrassed voice). [pause] ooh! can i buy a l&l shirt? please? i really want one.

l&l manager: is this for you or your boyfriend?

me: for me, OF COURSE! [huge BEAMING smile]

l&l manager: well, for you, it's free.

me: really? yay! okay! i'll represent! [huge BEAMING smile]

he proceeds to run upstairs & brings me a shirt. well, i'm not gonna say "thanks for the free shirt, but i actually want that one." so i guess i'll ask for the other one the next time i'm there (friday).

2nd time at the register:

i have 4 cans of aloha maid (2 of which are for faye)

l&l girl: gee, you like those, huh?

me: yep, they're the BEST (this may come as a shocker to you, r, but i did NOT say EVER)! [huge BEAMING smile]

3rd time at the register:

2 cans of aloha maid in hands (i saw a different aloha maid drink that i didn't see before -- it was in a different row).

l&l girl: you must be thirsty.

me: i'm just the messenger (of course, in my high-pitched denial/embarrassed voice -- and besides, one of the fricken cans is for FAYE)!

l&l guy: you should tell your friends about us. here, take some menus.

me: OH, i don't need those. TRUST ME, i tell EVERYONE about you guys! i should do your pr!

3 of us were there for um....i wanna say about an hour and 45 minutes!!!! you'd think we were fine dining or something.... :) i heart l&l, even if it's KILLING my heart!!!

hee. :)

spending habits

got the refund today. decided i'd buy meself an ipod with it. of course, i do this retarded justification in my head of why i'm going to get the ipod PHOTO. because, you know, i need it. really, i do. yeah. need it. well, it goes a little something like this: 4 gig ipod mini is $199; 20 gig is $299; so what's $50 bucks more -- might as well just go for the 30 gig ipod photo for $349. and THEN i go to the apple store for education, since, you know, i'm a "student" (for the rest of my life) -- now my 30 gig ipod photo (like how i'm already calling it my ipod photo) is $319. fabulous. made that decision easy. so now i want the cables to hook it up to the stereo so i can blow my eardrums out PERMANENTLY. those are $71. airport express with airtunes is $119. what's $48 more?? besides, i'm getting my ipod photo cheaper anyway...

and then i'll soon enough go through the digital camera decision -- since i'll have an ipod photo with NO photos IN it.......

so yes, this is what i go through ALL the time when it comes to purchasing decisions.......

because, you know, i'm like...rich....

p.s. my free engraving will read: i like to shake my ass. :)

polo shirts n' gel

yuck. what the hell. fricken polo shirts and spiky-gelled hair up the ass tonite. some even with the collar turned up. and remind me how that's cool, please? i'm so not cool and don't know "what's up".... eew. puke puke puke.

anyway, this, my friends, is why i don't need alcohol to join in on the drunkerd action:

me: cute, your shirt.

cousin: yeah, i was doing some screenprinting so i pulled this one out.

me: oh! cool. so you screenprinted that?

cousin: .....huh?....no....why would i do that? what, you thought i put these flowers on here?

me: well, yeah, you said that you were screenprinting.

cousin: I SAID I WAS SPRING CLEANING!!

me: OH! HAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

cousin + 2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i mean, come on, they sure do sound the same..... say it to yourself:

spreen cleanting

see?

heh heh.

oh! AND i swear EVERY bar/restaurant/whatever i go to KNOWS that i'm having a 90's prom. SWEAR. they were playing 90's grunge at jake's. everyone just really wants me to have this prom and are all keeping the excitement within me alive. awwwwww yeeeeeeah. it's gonna be the fucking shit. maybe i'll actually *drink*, since the last time i really drank was in high school and this'll be pretty reminiscent of the ol' days...

huh? what? i didn't say anything. i don't know what you're talking about. drink? what? you're fucking lying. i would never say that i'll do that....

red velvet cake

mindi's so mean:

actually, those aren't fat clothes

i can pork myself up just fine without your help, thank you very much. gees. in FACT, going to l&l for lunch today with emily!!!!! :) hee. one order of kalua pig + another inch to my fat ass, please. thank you!

:)

suicide

and this is me trying to kill myself:

BIKE NEW YORK

i've always wanted to be "athletic"... even wanted to join the army just so i could go to boot camp and shape up (and then quit). ummmm.....YEAH.... well -- i *think* you have to work out to be athletic, right? i could be wrong, but i swear it involves all that huffing & puffing & stuffs (yes, i know, the -s) -- all that garb. oh well. obviously, just in my dreams. :)

anyway, so miss i'd-rather-die-than-make-myself-exert-any-sort-of-energy ACTUALLY did this bike tour. TWICE! granted, the first year took me SEVEN fucking painful ass-hurtin' hours, but the second year i improved tremendously to THREE hours!!! :) and the third -- well -- registered but it was "raining" that day... uh huh... yep... RAINING. RAINING. hard. yeah.

as much as i just absolutely LOVE that bike ride, i have prom the night before! so guess my fat ass can sit this one out. maybe next year.

:)

it's about fucking time

NOW open??!!! more like FINALLY open! do you know how LONG ago they said that location was gonna open???!!! FUCKING DECEMBER!!!!! bitches! if only i wasn't such a fucking porker..... so yes, this means that i will INDEED be blogging about my l&l record that will someday be in the guinness.... time to round up the troops!!!! :)

heartburn here i come!!!!! with open arms!!!!

:)

i wonder if they deliver to 33rd & 5th.........

whorecake

OMG. i canNOT believe that girl went to work dressed like that!!! why doesn't she just write "come on over and fuck me" on her forehead??? i mean, um....so NOT appropriate for work... dead-center view of cleavage (viewable through the holey lace), NOT nude bra hanging out....... god that girl must be a SLUT! wtf was she thinking????

but i swear she's not a slut!!!! that's me! oops. it's called distracted by one-too-many things this morning and i was totally NOT aware of how i was dressing myself (hmmm....perhaps blogging at 745 am might be the problem??? maybe? just a thought). can you believe i went to work like that??!!!! seriously. if the nipple-showing-through-my-shirt wasn't enough to make people think i'm a slutbag, well then, they surely think i'm a ho now... HA! and to make matters worse, all the girls at work keep teasing me about all my "boyfriends"... fuckers. not my fault they talk to me. maybe it's just because i'm a *nice* person........ all it really is is the new-girl-at-school thing... as soon as another new girl starts, they'll forget about me entirely. and i'll fade into non-existence.

anyway, again, another day where the sweater stayed on allll damn day... i have got to start caring about what i look like!!!! gees. maybe i need to go to charm school.

k.i.t. 4eva!

did you ever sign that in your yearbooks?? okay, maybe not the 4eva part with the "k.i.t." but..... i definitely have. not that this should come as a *surprise* to you, but if i don't say so myself, i think i've done an EXCELLENT job in k.i.t.-ing. since blahing was always my favorite pastime, this is a pretty easy thing for me.

well, i've recently fallen off that boat (along with a lot of other boats) and was a k.i.t. sinner with my friend vikki. i saw her for all of 20 minutes when i was in hawaii at the mai tai bar. not that y'all know what that indicates or anything, but put it this way -- we had to shout the whole time & were hot n' sweaty & cramped & my i-don't-know-how-to-shake-it-to-hawaiian-music was forced to look like an idiot (yeah yeah yeah, i know i could've just NOT shaked my ass...but it's really hard not to -- it's kind of like i'm bernie in 'weekend at bernie's' or those dolls that start jigglin' & wigglin' when music comes on -- that's ME)!!!! never got together because time really just....FLIES.... and i dropped off the face of the earth for a little while there.

so i am directing her to my blog today so that she can get updated and i don't have to write her a novel (like i USUALLY do) and then just fill-in-the-blanks for the stuff that i actually DON'T blah about. i know, shocking isn't it -- that it's humanly possible for me to withhold information??!!! ???!!!!! ?????!!!!!!!!!!!......... ???

so...yeah...hi vik. just read and you'll quickly be caught up on what my m.i.a. ass has been up to. and i promise i'll write you later tonight or tomorrow (i know i already said that a few days ago but i PROMISE i will! PROMISE!). :)

p.s. i just looked in my senior yearbook for those infamous "k.i.t.'s" & "4eva's" and found none... must mean that i actually developed real relationships with people by that point (you'd hope so, right?!). maybe in like...my intermediate yearbooks. those are in my closet in hawaii. oh well.. anyhow, i KNOW i was a "k.i.t.-er".... :p

in the name of china

i will NEVER give my now EX-contractor any more of my money!!! the winner of my debt (that i'll have for the rest of my lame existence of a life) is: all those little kids in china!!!! fuck they're fucking the SHIT! i just got a bad ass bag back from my ex-boss-slash-teacher-slash-future-business-partner tonight and OMG. first of all, the fricken thing looks AMAZING. and it'll end up costing me only a THIRD of what my fucking bags cost me NOW!!!!!! put it this way.....the crappy/lazy "made in new york/U.S. of fucking A." (which means absolutely NOTHING) contractor's bags costs me $90 (labor + materials) each. now this DOESN'T include the dies -- which are basically cookie cutters for the leather (you didn't actually think people cut that shit out with their hands, did you?). so um.... hmmm.... probably looking at $110 a piece. my e-b-s-t-s-f-b-p (we'll just call him blah for short) said this bad ass bag will cost out at about $26 - 30. of course, this doesn't include customs crap & shit but still... it sure as hell included the $2 - 4 for labor (crazy, right? and now you see why i want to support those *wonderful* kids!) and the rest was materials... fricken thing looks better than the ones i have and it's only the first sample. blah behind me will make this thing/my "business" the fucking shit! i mean, i got fired. so what do i know.... :p

so sporting this bag. fucker. if only i could sport it to work. crap. well, i'll part-time sport it. :)

sorry mindi, did i excite you by making you think i'll finally be a "girl" and carry a ...."purse/bag".....?? sorry.... almost... maybe next time... :) or....never...... don't you remember what happened the last time? and that was just my fucking wristlet! see! i'm totally incapable of "carrying" stuff......... there's a reason i go through a gajillion umbrellas. there's a reason i no longer have those 3 or 4 ru umbrellas (although i do miss those -- wanna grab one for me??).

oops, maybe that should've been a personal email to mindi. see, this is what happens when i can't email alllll fucking damn day!!!! maybe my wpm will decrease now that i can't "practice typing" all day anymore......

fuckin awesome

i just read the most fucking awesome shit on a blog. (yes, at 8 fucking 40 in the morning on a bitch of rainy saturday -- my friend sleptover & she had to get back to jersey so she could get to work on time. meaning -- she woke up SUPER early. left at like 7 am and the rain sorta woke me up, too.)

N-E-WAY. sorry. (blah blah blah again, what's new...) i found the funniest shit. '50 things you MAY not have known about living hawaii kine shit.' FUN-E. i've told the author that i just might have to copy him. :p although, i don't think mines (yes that added -s is a hawaii thing, not jackie-is-stupid AND just be happy i didn't say minesES) will be as funny. i'll link to it later when i'm a little more um......awake??

rejection.com

another great one from metro. apparently all you have to do is give stop-talking-to-me-you-fuck from the bar the following:

anything@papernapkin.net or anything@paamail.com

and supposedly they get a rejection letter emailed back to them.

i wanna try it. fun.

www.papernapkin.net

the worst of craigslist

i just read the best fucking thing in today's metro paper:

'the worst of craigslist'

WANTED... Females ready for dissapointment

Not that I want to dissapoint, but I don't aim to please. And it's not that I don't want to have exhilarating or meaningful relationships. I just don't want to try. And I just don't want to profess to be looking for anything in particular. I don't want to say that I'm looking for laughs and good times because sometimes I don't want to laugh and I don't want to be ashamed when I am not laughing at something. I also don't like to say I'm looking for sex or romance...because those things are so trite. I'm not willing to admit that I want anything in particular and hope to find people who feel same.

is that not the best shit EVER or what??!!! omg. i just realized it even made me be un-lazy and capitalize!!!! WOAH. fucking shit. crazy stuff. CRAZY! outta control.